Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell

Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell is about assumptions made when meeting someone compared to those made when simply reviewing data about the person.

Neville Chamberlain, Britain's prime minister at the beginning of WWII, totally mis-read Hitler and thought he had achieved an agreement with the dictator to invade only the German speaking Sudetenland. Six months later Hitler had ignored the signed agreement and invaded Czechoslovakia and then on to Poland. Winston Churchill and others who had not met Hitler were not taken in by his appeasements and saw him as dangerous.

Judges are swayed by defendants and allow them out on bail (often with disastrous consequences) while data collected and analyzed calculated 1% of those released were high risk.

Bernie Madoff fooled enough people to amass himself and his family a large fortune through a Ponzi scheme. While many thought he was a little "off" no one could put their finger on it and he was, after all, "making" lots of money. Harry Markopolos, a fraud investigator, however went further and put together maps, charts and graphs trying to duplicate Madoff's financial plans, but was unable to do so. He informed the SEC in May 2000, (a decade before Madoff was arrested) and then again in 2005, 2007 and 2008.

The problem is we're truth biased and give people the benefit of the doubt. We judge their honesty by their demeanor. Well-spoken people who are friendly and engaging are seen as believable.

My thoughts:
Sociopaths learn from people/movies and can persuade someone by emulating others, but although they seem genuine, there is always an underlying feeling that something is not quite right. They have no empathy just as Bernie Madoff had no concerns about taking someone's hard earned retirement money to give the Madoff family a luxurious lifestyle. (Read The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout). We only stop believing someone when we no longer have an explanation for our doubts. Or have our doubts confirmed i.e. evidence of a cheating spouse.

Another problem we have is misreading someone's demeanor. In the Sandra Bland case, both Sandra Bland and the officer who pulled her over for a traffic violation were  misreading each other and both were combative, leading to a bad situation. Then we have cultural differences. A frown in one society might mean something different to another.

Sometimes it's best to go with a gut feeling even when it doesn't make sense. If it doesn't feel right, walk away. Don't take three years trying to figure out why a relationship (business or personal) doesn't "feel" right.

Another good book to read related to understanding people and how they affect you is Boundaries by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Outliers - The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell

Malcolm Gladwell uses the title "Outliers" to show that success mostly comes from people who are classed differently from the norm - those who do things out of the ordinary.
He uses studies to prove his point.  For example K. Anders Ericsson compared amateur musicians with professional musicians (some state this test was with violinists, others say pianists). The professional musicians who had reached 10,000 hours of practice by the age of 20 were the most successful. None of those studied achieved success by practicing a fraction of the time. This seems to apply in many avenues. The Beatles were a mediocre band until they moved to Hamburg, Germany where they played in clubs with non-stop shows. With that much practice they had worked harder and put their heart and soul into it compared to other British bands, Sometimes they played for 8 hour stretches at a time.

Another point Mr. Gladwell brings up is opportunity. Living in Seattle, Bill Gates had access to computer labs and a college with a computer club which was unusual at the time. He also came from an elite family which gave him access to prestigious schools (he attended Harvard). The 10,000 rule also comes in here as he tested company software programs in exchange for free programming time.

He says background also plays a big part in success. Poorer parents are passive and don’t fight to get their children into the best schools. They don’t interact in extra curricular activities and are intimidated by authority. Well to do families usually feel entitled and push for their children, attending games and encouraging them. Poorer people tend to think of extra activities as play time and don’t often participate. [You often hear of successful people who came from poorer neighborhoods but had a parent or teacher who pushed them and found ways for them to rise above their circumstances].

Mr.Gladwell pointed out that the idea that students from Asia have more success in mathematics is because of language and how they calculate mathematical problems and not because of culture. You can read more about about this concept here

In order to add 23 + 45, an American child would have to convert 23 to twenty-three, and 45 to forty-five, then add those two together. A Chinese child would just add two-tens-three and four-tens-five together, equaling six-tens-eight. The answer is in the way the language is phrased – much easier for children to learn.

He questions innate talent and points out that with desire and practice you can achieve success.

I found the book interesting. One thing I've found with successful people is they don't give up which I think goes back to the 10,000 hour rule.

Note: After Jordan Spieth's golfing success, teachers at his school were interviewed and they said whatever Jordan does, he does to the best of his ability - he's driven to succeed and predicted his win at age 14. He works hard until he gets it right whether it's academic or golf, which seems to confirm the above theory. He also has a supportive family who encouraged him.