Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

I read Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend many years ago, but we are constantly dealing with difficult personality types and is worth reviewing again.

One of the things that is covered in the book is how to set limits instead of remaining a prisoner to the wishes of another. Boundaries is a book based on biblical principals and guides the reader in how to allow others to accept consequences for their actions and love others without rescuing them from destructive behavior.








Preventing us from setting boundaries:

1. Fear of loss of love, abandonment
2. Fear of other's anger
3. Fear of loneliness
4. Guilt
5. Need for approval
6. Overidentification of another's loss

In Sheep's Clothing by George Simon, Jr. PhD

In Sheep's Clothing sounds like it might be a murder mystery, but it is about understanding and dealing with manipulative people.

One of the personalities Dr. Simon discusses is covert-aggressive (manipulative) people who have some similarities to narcissistic personalities.
They are the kind of people who fight hard for everything they want but do their best to conceal their aggressive attentions. Their victims do not understand why they feel bad, they only know they are anxious and depressed and often feel guilty for being angry at the aggressor because it isn't clear what they are doing.

He notes that passive-aggressive personalities aren't the same as covert-aggressors. They will give someone the "silent treatment" or pout and whine to get their way.

Covert-Aggression is using underhand means to manipulate a response in others and their goals are not obvious. They exploit the victim's insecurities and weaknesses. They then use rationalization to try and convince you they are justified in what they are doing.

The lasting comment Dr. Simon makes is - You can give up your fantasy that this time things will be different.

I highly recommend In Sheep's Clothing - after all, forewarned is forearmed and I'm sure you have or will eventually cross paths with covert-aggressive people.